Why I Impersonate Ann-Margret: She's every man's fantasy and every woman's dream and so am I when I`m in drag! Maybe not EVERY mans fantasy but come on ladies, which of you would not like to be a man, at least sometimes? When I impersonate Ann-Margret, it`s like having it all. A high powered professional career by day and a smoldering sex kitten after dark. After starting my drag career in the "Big Easy", I thought that I had seen it all. Little did I know that the fun was just about to began. In 1986 a friend of mine was putting together a drag show and asked me to perform in it. By that time I was a seasoned professional, performing regular style drag. A week before the show my friend suggested that I impersonate Ann-Margret. My first response was Ann-who??? Then it came to me...Bye Bye Birdie, Carnal Knowledge, Viva Las Vegas, Who Will Mind My Children. Really, you think that I could pull it off? Then I figured, why not, she`s super sexy, gorgeous, dynamic, alluring, ultra feminine, sensual, a true professional. Her radiant smile and dazzling personality have captivated audiences everywhere. With so much in common, this impersonating thing will be a piece of cake. After all, I had a week, no problem! And what a week it was. I spent every waking minute and many nights finding just the right wig, searching for the perfect wardrobe, renting videos, which I watched repeatedly, studying her gestures, hand movements, facial features, walk, EVERYTHING! (I watched Ann-Margret push Elvis Presley into a pool in Viva Las Vegas so often that I developed an aversion to swimming that lasted for years) The night of the show arrived it went off without a hitch. But I realized that this Ann-Margret thing would take a little more time. (kind of like building an air craft carrier, i.e. you just don`t do this over night, if you know what I mean). But there was something about her, that intrigued me. What gets me about her, is that sexiness that she always exudes, whether she's on stage live or in a movie setting. Interestingly enough when you meet her, you find her to be shy, quiet and very demure. I guess the dichotomy can be summed up as The Tiger Lady on Stage.... The Girl Next Door off Stage, tender, caring, and concerned for friends and fans alike.

THE LIGHTER SIDE OF FEMALE IMPERSONATION I Know Exactly What You're Thinkin`...Why does a grown man put on a dress, lip synch to a song and parade around on stage impersonating a movie star ? Because it's fun... that's why! The most fun that you can have with your clothes on. And what clothes they are..gorgeous feathers, sequins, luxurious furs, exquisite jewelry, not to mention luscious locks that you take to the salon to get coifed once a month. It`s not hard to trade the boring business suit and briefcase for all that glitz and glamour. This girl can be ready to be wined and dined at a moments notice. All I need is a bit of powder and paint, a date bra and a low cut dress gets a nice dinner. I love watching them stare at my chest all evening, while tantalizing them. It`s so much fun! Remember this, we are all born naked, after that, the rest is just drag darlin'. Appearing on stage can be loads of fun, but it does have its ridiculous moments too. I mean there you are all beautiful, looking just like the star you are supposed to be and all the audience wants to know is..... Where Do You Hide It ? You know, it just figures. They are more concerned about your "pendage" than how close you look to the star you are impersonating. Then of course, follows my all time favorite question... Are You Gay ? To which I always respond.... Well, I am very happy ! Getting back to the lighter side. I always thought it would be a great premise for a talk show, to have the impersonators come out, followed by the real star(s). Then the impersonator and the star(s) get into a mock "cat fight" as to which one looks more real... The star or the impersonator. I mean lets face it, afternoon television is getting somewhat boring. There is just so much one can take of "Someone's" Book Club. The last thing I think well all need,is some self anointed conscience of America telling us what books she thinks we should all be reading.

FOOTWEAR Now here's another complete mystery. Why do drag queens and for that matter women stuff their feet into something that is too small and sits at an angle that the human foot was not made to walk at ? Because it looks sexy that's why! Ah yes... Knock Me Over and Fuck Me Pumps. What Queen can resist? Here is a little point of info for all you "girls" out there. If ever you are at an affair and you see a beautiful woman, who you suspect is a drag queen,but you just aren't sure if she`s a he, here's how you solve the dilemma. If its a queen she/he will have on the sexiest looking shoes you ever saw and she/he will keep them on all night. The real woman will either have on sensible shoes or no shoes at all! Leave it to women. I always wanted to do a talk show, but instead of the topic being, HELP MY MOTHER NEEDS A MAKEOVER.... it should be.... HELP MY MOTHER NEEDS A MAKEOVER FROM A DRAG QUEEN, QUICK!!! Now there's a talk show with a slightly twisted format... don't you think ? Well, all I can tell you Sports Fans.... is that drag sure is a lot of fun and it's a lot like life. It gets nuttier as time goes on. But the interesting thing is, just when you think you've got it figured out one of two things happens. Either your dead or Hillary Clinton says she's going to run for the Senate. Please don't let me get started on that ONE! Just remember these important words to live by: The Female Impersonator is a Man, which is a fact. Until he recreates himself as a beautiful woman, which is an illusion. However of the two (fact versus illusion) the illusion is the truer.